Current mood:

relieved

The 100-Years Wank

Hello! First post from me. I just joined here, and honestly, I only joined because I HAD to share this wank with someone who would appreciate it.

Let me give you a quick history. On a Harry Potter site, there was a poster called [DUDEFACE]. More than a year ago (I shit you not) he got mad at me for catching him out in a lie. He said he was white, and a few posts later, said he was black. He lied in order to win an argument. I called him on it. The Birth of a Wank.

After a while I got so sick of him that I created a LiveJournal, and started recording his posts there. He found it, and proceded to wank his little head off. Here are a few of the best bits he posted to me, both on my LJ and at Mugglenet. Beware of foul language.

Threats of rape and murder!

Now I OWN you you WIGGER! Because i know you'll write to me first, all i do is respond, and you've been acting like a little white trash kid who's had a tantrum when mommy didn't give you what she wants. Just know that i would SOOO want to kill your parents, including your mom, i'll take her and have a couple of her own race fuckk the shhh outta her before killing her, lol! How's that my precious girl! If i had you, you'd be MINE! And you'd like it too, that's why you keep on complaining about me, you can't get over ME!

More Threats of Murder.

Go to hell Anya, you don't deserve to live on this world. If i saw you. i would immediately kill you with no hesitation. You hear that ppl, i would KILL AnyaMarcos. God made all the little crackers He made them in the bright daylight It was to bright to see what he was doing And that's why they're a sickly white Now that's what i call a poem ;)

Yet ANOTHER Threat of Muder, This Time By Street Gang.

This is only the beginning bitch, you should have never pushed the line, I would like to say i got connections to gangs, and if i knew where you lived, i would hunt you down and KILL you, since that what your ass deserves!

Here He Insults Whites and Arabs. It's TWO, TWO, TWO Wanks in One!

I am Arab, and proud of IT! I'm one of the few arabs that are Christians, but i don't like most christians anyway, I'm a Seventh-Day Adventist. I support Al-Qaeda and those other groups, cuz American white bastards like you need to be slaughtered.

Genocide, Anyone?

I'm just laughing my butt off, on how you reacted, you had soo much hate all that time i said i was Arab, and it shows why the White race needs to be EXTERMINATED, i feel sorry for all the good ones, but the majority wins.

Now HERE'S the funny part! See, over time, the little turd has given little bits of info here and there. And earlier tonight, I was able to find him. I mean the REAL him, name, and address.

I posted to him that I had found him. I told him how. What followed was the most pathetic web of lies and desperation you will likely ever see. It's all right here. All the anonymous posts are his.

Enjoy!

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anyamarcos
2008-04-29 07:17 am UTC (link)

Man, you guys are defensive! It's like dangling a filet mignon over a pit of rabid Rottweilers.

Rather than actually look at the wank, you all jumped to conclusions and went after me instead. Nice.

For the record, no I did NOT post the wanker's name (other than his first name) or address.

If you have no interest in reading wank, then why even belong to this group? Or is this group just for self-contained wank?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

	mydemand 2008-04-29 07:25 am UTC (link)
	This will not wendell. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	agent_hyatt 2008-04-29 07:30 am UTC (link)
	Start the countdown to wankitywank? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	mydemand 2008-04-29 07:30 am UTC (link)
	sets clock (Reply to this)(Parent)

	t_boy 2008-04-29 07:31 am UTC (link)
	On the contrary, I think this will end most amusingly. (Reply to this)(Parent)

loopywafflehead
2008-04-29 07:36 am UTC (link)

I'm honestly not trying to attack you, I'm just trying to explain.

We're just here to laugh at the crazy stuff that happens on the internet (or offline, on occasion). When we see a post that breaks the rules or doesn't belong, we're not shy about pointing it out because we don't want trouble. In this case, we did look at the wank, saw that there were problems and said something.

Everyone makes mistakes. Take a break from the computer, read over the community info and speak to a mod if anything doesn't make sense or isn't clear. Don't keep replying to people when you're angry. It will just make everything worse.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	hallidae 2008-04-29 07:38 am UTC (link)
	Oh, don't say that, that'll just make her start going on about how she's not angry and she's just amused about how stupid we all are. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	loopywafflehead 2008-04-29 07:43 am UTC (link)
	If that happens, then I will take it all back and willingly consume the filet mignon even though I'm vegetarian. And not a Rottweiler. I think. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	t_boy 2008-04-29 08:57 am UTC (link)
	Aw, man. Now you've gone and spoiled everything. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	aristaea 2008-04-29 07:38 am UTC (link)
	It's like dangling a filet mignon over a pit of rabid Rottweilers. Can I sign up for the vegetarian option instead? (Reply to this)(Parent)

fools_game
2008-04-29 07:47 am UTC (link)

Because ripping you shreds for failing to read and abide by the written rules, not to mention the unwritten codes of behaviour, is just flat-out funnier.

You post a wank report starting with "First wank, please be gentle" or something similar? FAIL.

Your wank is unfunny and to do with racism, which is not funny? FAIL

You are heavily, unashamedly involved in beginning and perpetuating the wank? FAIL.

When people point out your fail, you get defensive and snippy, insinuate that everybody else is WRONG in their interpreation or knowledge of the rules, and post an annoyed, passive-aggressive comment about how they are WRONG? FAIL FAIL FAIL.

Ever heard of this old Fandom Wank saying? This year, you're the turkey, sweetie.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	ghostmaster 2008-04-29 08:07 am UTC (link)
	You forgot to mention the smilies. I think they deserve their own catagory of fail. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	fools_game 2008-04-29 08:15 am UTC (link)
	There is so much fail it is difficult to keep track. Reading the actual wank, the condescending bullshit she pulled with this guy is pretty failtacular, as well. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	mercutia 2008-04-29 10:13 am UTC (link)
	You post a wank report starting with "First wank, please be gentle" or something similar? FAIL. Actually, that was how I started my first ever post. A lot of people have. It's the rest of that stuff that makes for fail. And boy, does it ever in this case. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	panthea 2008-04-29 11:20 am UTC (link)
	Yeah... it's still kind of fail. It's a soupcon of extra fail in the tasty fail stew. But that's okay, we forgive you. I think. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	flightstothesea 2008-04-29 10:31 am UTC (link)
	Try reading the rules next time, moron. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	nymeria 2008-04-29 10:33 am UTC (link)
	I just wanted to thank you for lightening up my life while the servers are down for maintenance on World of Warcraft. It wasn't the wank; that sucked and I skimmed it, because yawn. It's the simple joy of you. Never leave, Anya! Your cluelessness is a font of fantasticism for us all! I LOVE YOUUUU. No, seriously, are you some kind of moron? (Reply to this)(Parent)

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